I first heard about oocyte cryopreservation, more commonly known as egg freezing, when my phone rang less than 24 hours after I had been diagnosed with breast cancer. “This might be the only way you will ever be able to have a baby,” my obstetrician-gynecologist told me across the line. I could hardly comprehend that I needed to think about fertility treatment in the midst of preparing for a mastectomy. Why now?
My biggest dream had always been to be a mom, but, at 26, motherhood wasn’t yet on the horizon. Within an instant, though, it was all I could think about (besides the malignant tumor in my chest). “If you need chemotherapy, it may lead to infertility after treatment,” my doctor explained. There was no guarantee I would even need chemotherapy, but I had only a narrow window to freeze my eggs, and it was before I knew my treatment plan. In retrospect, I was fortunate to have a doctor who brought this to my attention and opened a new pathway to motherhood.
In the five years since, I have watched egg freezing become a process that most American women in their 20s, and certainly 30s, have heard of — and that many are considering. They may have a medical condition, but very often they just haven’t yet found a partner or aren’t ready to become a parent and want to preserve the fertility that begins to decline around age 30.
From 2020 to 2021, there was a 46% increase in egg freezing procedures in the United States, with 24,560 total cycles. In 2012, when the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) dropped the “experimental” label from the procedure, there were 2,925 cycles. Back then, the ASRM recommended egg freezing only for women going through medical treatment that could potentially affect fertility and not "for the sole purpose of circumventing reproductive aging in healthy women because there are no data to support the safety, efficacy, ethics, emotional risks, and cost-effectiveness.’’ That has since changed, and the ASRM now also includes “delaying childbearing” and “egg donation” in its list of uses for oocyte cryopreservation.
Egg freezing is an ongoing topic in at least one group chat of at least seven different Allure editors, and it’s the subject of more than one video a day in many of our TikTok feeds. But the process is more complicated than a three-minute montage or fertility-clinic subway ad would have you believe. “It’s a medical procedure — you aren’t going to the spa,” says Elizabeth Fino, MD, a reproductive endocrinologist, infertility specialist, and director of third-party reproduction at NYU Langone Fertility. “It's not a perfect science and you have to go into it understanding the data.” Five years ago Dr. Fino told Allure that even with the best candidates, it was a coin flip that a baby would be born from one egg freezing cycle. In 2023, she says, the odds are slightly better, at 60-40.
One thing is for certain, though: “You need a lot more eggs than you would probably think,” says Lucky Sekhon, MD, a board-certified reproductive endocrinologist and infertility specialist at Reproductive Medicine Associates of New York (RMA). “It's like an inverted pyramid. That's why I say, if you're 35, ideally you're going to want to freeze a minimum of 15 eggs to have a really good chance at one baby and a decent chance at having two children. At 35, theoretically, 13 eggs would survive [the thaw], 10 would fertilize, six would turn into embryos, and four out of six of those embryos might be viable. And having two normal embryos per child that you want is a good bet.”
Making the decision to freeze eggs versus embryos (or potentially both) is a personal choice — dependent on whether you have a partner with whom you want to have children or are open to using a sperm donor — and there is no right or wrong decision. “Embryos aren’t more viable than eggs, you're just closer to your outcome,” says Dr. Sekhon.
What is different, though, is that embryos have a slightly better chance of surviving the thaw process (95% on average versus around 90% for eggs). Says Dr. Sekhon, “When you freeze embryos, you can feel more confident that you're going to most likely have the ability to utilize those embryos and try to get pregnant with them.”
The sooner — and younger — a patient begins this process, the higher the chance for a successful outcome. Says Dr. Fino, “I typically tell patients to start thinking about egg freezing around age 30. If you're not partnered or ready to think about planning your family by 32 or 33, that's where we start to see the success rates of egg freezing drop off. By age 35 to 37, the drop is much more significant.” With increased awareness, Dr. Fino has noticed women in her practice are starting the process younger and younger: “Five years ago, we were mostly seeing women in their late 30s, and now the majority are in their early to mid-30s.”
Another statistical shift doctors are noticing: the number of insurance plans that now cover at least one cycle of egg freezing or offer reimbursement. “Ten years ago, 0% of cycles in our clinic were covered by insurance,” says Dr. Sekhon. “As of 2022, over 50% of the egg freezing cycles that we do [at RMA] are covered.”
But it’s big corporations, primarily, that offer these benefits to full-time employees. “What I would hope to see in the next decade is that it’s not just the middle class and the upper class, but also the lower class who are embarking on this journey because their insurance is covering it and they have one or two lifetime cycles,” says Tomer Singer, MD, chief of the division of reproductive medicine at Northwell Health Fertility in New York. Without insurance, one egg freezing cycle usually costs at least $10,000 to $15,000 out of pocket.
While numbers do count as an important part of this evolving process, they don’t tell the whole story. So I connected with dozens of women from around the country who have made the decision to freeze their eggs or, in a handful of cases, embryos. Some made the choice after a life-changing diagnosis, others after a life-changing breakup. Each individual shared her unvarnished truth about the costs involved — financial, physical, and emotional — and no two stories are the same.
Here, in their words, 26 women break the ice on what it’s really like to freeze your eggs.
These stories have been edited and condensed for clarity.
“It took three cycles at age 32 for me to get a total of 14 eggs. On one hand, it was a devastating roller coaster, and on the other, I felt powerful and proactive to be taking my fertility into my hands. My goal when I began the process was to freeze 15 eggs, which — knowing what I know now — is practically nothing. I wish I had been given more information about the second part of the process [like thawing, fertilization, and chromosomal testing] to better inform how many eggs I needed to bank at a younger age.
“My husband and I met when I was 35 and began actively trying to conceive two years later. After months of no luck, I started fertility treatments. My insurance would not cover IVF [in which the fertilized egg is placed directly in the uterus] unless I had three failed IUIs [in which sperm is placed directly in the uterus]. After my third failed IUI, we requested to have my 14 frozen eggs transferred from the storage facility to be made into embryos. After my eggs reached the fertility clinic, only half survived the thawing; then only about 60% of those eggs fertilized and became embryos.
“I had a fresh embryo transfer and became pregnant. The remaining embryos did not make it to the appropriate stage of development so they were discarded. At 10-weeks pregnant and right after my 38th birthday, I miscarried. We had no other embryos to transfer. All the hard work and money I put into freezing my eggs in my early 30s went out the window. The personal fertility net I had built for myself failed, and I was crushed.
“I needed a D&C [short for dilatation and curettage, a surgical procedure in which the uterine lining is cleaned of abnormal tissues] due to extreme pain and bleeding over multiple days. After that procedure, we learned that the fetus was genetically abnormal and that was the cause of my miscarriage. The likelihood of genetically abnormal embryos was never discussed with me when I was freezing my eggs, and that is a big part of the IVF funnel.
“It’s now been just over a year since my first round of IVF. My husband and I just completed our seventh round. We currently have four genetically-tested embryos. It was a grueling, emotional, drawn-out process that at times felt endless. We are gearing up for a second embryo transfer and are cautiously optimistic.”
“For the past four years, I kept hearing more and more about women my age freezing eggs. As someone who is currently single and career-focused — but wants to become a mom with the right partner in the future — I knew it was something I wanted to do if I had the insurance coverage or funds to make it happen.
“I'm a planner through and through, so I looked at my menstrual cycle timing and figured I would be able to freeze my eggs in April, which would align perfectly with my social and travel schedule. The biggest lesson from this process for me was that you cannot control your body, and you cannot control the timing of life.
“For one of the first times ever, my period was over a week late. I had had the flu the month before, which changed my cycle. I had even purchased my meds already — for $3,000 out of pocket — because I was certain I'd be freezing my eggs that month.
“Because my period was late, my egg freezing schedule was significantly altered. I was in tears thinking that there was a world in which I'd no longer be able to freeze my eggs that year because of a busy work and travel schedule.
“In the end, I was grateful to be able to complete the process around Thanksgiving. (One of my meds that I had purchased in the spring had expired, so I had to reorder that, but was able to negotiate receiving the replacement at a lower cost of $175.) I was even giving myself injections upstairs during Thanksgiving dinner.
“The process was emotional in so many ways: the letdown of not being able to plan for the exact timing of this process, injecting yourself for multiple days, the joy of imagining becoming a mother in the future, whether through IVF or naturally, and knowing that this is a story I'll tell my kids one day. I’m proud and thrilled that I completed the process. It feels like the best insurance plan for myself and lets me go back to living my day-to-day life without thinking as much about my biological clock.”
“Covid took crucial years of our lives. I looked up one day and I was 37. At the time, my company covered elective egg freezing, so I thought, Why not? I didn’t expect that I would have to get my blood drawn and have a vaginal ultrasound every other day for about two weeks. I was over that after the first two times — there were five more to go.
“It's a lot of poking and prodding, and it felt overwhelming looking at all those needles, but I had an amazing group of friends who supported me. They would come to my apartment every night and we’d play music and they’d give me my shots. I did the daily shots for 10 days, then the trigger shot happened, and roughly 24-hours later, my retrieval was done.
“The process was two weeks from start to finish. The only side effect I experienced was bloating. Pre-retrieval, it was like my usual period bloating — which is pretty bad — times two. Post-retrieval, the bloating was even crazier. I looked at least four-months pregnant for two or three days. And I was constipated, which was so blah. I have zero plans at this point to use my eggs, but I feel lucky to have 36 in storage as a backup to conceiving naturally.”
“I decided to freeze my eggs before starting chemotherapy for cancer treatment. I had just had bilateral mastectomy surgery and was on the fence about putting my body through an extra procedure, but the doctors encouraged me to ‘preserve’ my fertility, as if it were guaranteed. I was injecting myself while I still had surgical drains coming out of my body.
“I felt misled into believing it would be more successful than it was. I was so excited and surprised to have gotten a good number of eggs after my retrieval, but when my partner and I went to turn them into embryos, the number went down. Because I’d need to use a surrogate, I was advised to test the embryos before freezing them, and I was left with even fewer. I thought the egg retrieval was the end, but there were so many more steps.
“It was hard on my body and mind, and it didn't go well when I really, really wanted it to. It was a traumatizing experience for me, and I don't think it had to be. I wish doctors and nurses and people in general would focus more on honesty than optimism. I'm optimistic on my own, tell me the truth!
“In California, where I live, fertility preservation for cancer patients is supposed to be covered, but my insurance company was absolute trash and found a loophole to refuse. [Editor’s note: Senate Bill 600 mentions that “when a covered treatment may cause iatrogenic infertility (cancer treatments may or may not cause this) to an enrollee, standard fertility-preservation services are a basic health care service.] I didn't find that out until I had already paid. I am still paying off the various bills, which are somewhere around $20,000. Every time I pay a bill, I cry a tiny bit because it reminds me how awful the whole thing was, from the actual procedure to the monthslong fight with my insurance company.
“Since egg freezing isn't saving your life, it often ends up being ‘squeezed in’ or rushed. Timing is so important when it comes to fertility, no matter your situation. I wish cancer doctors were more prepared to help patients through this really important step, whether it's resources or support groups or basic timeline help. I didn't even know the right questions to ask or have time to ask them.”
“My long-term partner is nearly six years older than I am. Before meeting him, I was never someone who had put a lot of thought into having children or raising a family. I had always imagined that if I were to meet my forever partner, that would be enough. I considered having a child to be more of a cherry-on-top situation. As the daughter of divorced parents, I’ve always been super intentional and sensitive about ensuring that my commitment and partnership with my significant other were on solid ground before even considering the discussion of children.
“Because kids had been more of a secondary thought, it was really my partner who had initiated the conversation. He lost his father at an early age to cancer and expressed the importance of wanting to be a father and maximizing the time that he has with his family. We made the joint decision that we saw children as part of our partnership together.
“The first big step for us was to get my hormone levels tested. Hormone testing was a new service my doctor’s office was promoting around this time, so I decided to do it to get a better understanding of my health. I’m glad that I did because I found out that I have low AMH [anti-mullerian hormone, which corresponds to a person's remaining egg count]. With further testing, I was officially diagnosed with premature ovarian insufficiency, at age 31.
“With this new diagnosis, my doctors, my partner, and I decided that freezing embryos [instead of unfertilized eggs] was our best chance of ensuring we would be able to have the family that we hope for in our future.
“Every step of the process, you are waiting on bloodwork or a call from the doctor to share results or tell you if you’re making progress or not. These ‘status calls’ were the most anxiety-inducing part of my experience. They felt like a metaphor for the experience altogether. You’re holding out hope that you’ll get a good call with positive news but also trying not to get your hopes up too much.
“The emotional effect post-stimulation was dramatic. It’s hard to explain, but it felt that I was no longer connected to my body. I felt like my being and my body were in two different places and that my body was betraying me. I’ve always been someone who has loved my body and celebrated my body, and it was hard for me to be present and acknowledge my body for what it isn’t able or needs help to do.
“We were able to retrieve four eggs, and only one made it to a viable embryo that we could freeze. We are doing a second cycle later, so my process is still ongoing.”
“My identical twin sister alerted me to the fact that, as hemophilia carriers, we should most likely have kids through IVF in order to screen for the genetic mutation. Because I am a carrier, any daughter I have would have a chance of being a carrier and a son would have a 50/50 chance of having hemophilia.
“I am currently in the middle of the [egg retrieval] experience. So far it has been easy, and uneventful, but I know it can get worse as I continue the hormone shots. I thought it’d be harder for me to inject myself with the needles, because I can be super squeamish, but I haven’t had a problem at all. My husband has been super supportive and understanding — noting that there’s no way in hell he could do this if he had to, which I agree with.
“I am trying to take it one day at a time and not have too many expectations. I’m trying not to compare myself to others or to their experiences, even my sister’s. Once we see how many embryos we get after this first round, we may have to do another round. We aren’t ready to have children just yet, but plan to try IVF with the frozen embryos in the next year or so.”
“It was nearly a 10-year process to decide to freeze my eggs. I was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 26 years old, and the idea of fertility preservation was discussed during that pivotal time. Upon the recommendation of my oncologist, I met with a fertility team, who encouraged freezing embryos — as opposed to eggs — to increase my chances of a successful future pregnancy. But I was single at the time, and wasn’t interested in using a sperm donor. In the end, I didn’t need cancer treatment that would impact my long-term fertility, so I decided against any fertility interventions.
“Eight years later, I learned through friends and research that the success of freezing eggs had improved. So I decided, independent of my cancer status, to freeze my eggs for two main reasons: The first was because I was getting older and wasn't ready for children but wanted to be a biological mother in the future; the second was because I carry a genetic mutation that places me at higher risk for developing certain types of cancer, like breast cancer, and I wanted to be able to have embryos tested for the mutation so those without the mutation can be selected for pregnancy.
“I then elected to freeze my eggs a second time, about eight months later, when my breast cancer recurred and I was going to need aggressive chemotherapy that could have a long-term negative impact on fertility. I was fortunate to connect with The Chick Mission, a nonprofit that helps those diagnosed with cancer pay for fertility preservation prior to treatments. The organization paid for all of my treatment, plus a year of egg storage.
“The process was emotional in ways I didn’t expect. I had heard from people who had gone through it that they felt extra tearful or emotional from the hormonal shifts, but my experience was more the feelings that came from the worry and disappointment associated with a lower-than-desired egg count. It was really challenging to see only a few follicles in each ovary after putting in the time of going to a lot of appointments, the grind of many injections, and the high financial cost. I had come to this fertility preservation process to be proactive about my future childbearing options, not for known fertility issues, so I didn't expect that to be a factor.
“It was very emotional to be confronted with the idea that it might be challenging to have biological children. I also had some regrets about not starting the process sooner, when perhaps my counts could have been higher.
“I've learned that it’s fairly common to have to do several rounds in order to retrieve enough eggs, but at the time I took that as a major disappointment and struggled to come to terms with it. I think I could have eliminated a lot of tears and stress if I had understood and accepted that earlier. After the egg harvesting procedure, my final numbers were better than expected, but it was a very emotional experience for about 12 days — filled with a mixture of hope, despair, fear, and ultimately gratitude.”
“I currently work as a facial plastic surgery fellow and head and neck surgeon, a field that is highly demanding of my time. During my residency, I was mentored by a seasoned female surgeon who consistently addressed the subject of fertility. She strongly advised that I freeze my eggs if immediate motherhood wasn’t on my horizon. I had shrugged off this advice in my mid-20s, but the topic kept resurfacing among my female colleagues over the years. When I discovered my insurance plan would cover a round of cryopreservation, I took the plunge, on my 30th birthday.
“Balancing my demanding job with the frequent clinic visits and hormone injections was challenging. What surprised me was how quickly it was all over; the entire process felt long and short at the same time. The anticipation leading up to it seemed to stretch on forever, but the actual medical procedures were over before I knew it.
“Before embarking on this journey, I wish I had been more aware of the complexity involved in synchronizing the hormone treatments with my menstrual cycle and unpredictable work schedule. While I knew the process would demand daily ultrasounds and frequent office visits over a two-week period, I hadn't fully considered that everything had to align with my menstrual cycle — a factor that isn't controllable. This led to multiple delays and a bit more stress than I had anticipated.
“The experience can be emotionally and logistically challenging, but it's also incredibly empowering. By taking control of my reproductive options, I found a new sense of agency and peace of mind that I hadn't anticipated.”
“My husband and I are both of similar ethnicity (Lebanese/Syrian), so it was recommended by my ob to get genetic testing. We matched for a genetic disease called familial Mediterranean fever. Although our specific mutations likely would not result in severe outcomes for our children, we did not want to take any risks. When both parents are carriers for this disease, there is a 25% chance offspring will be affected and a 50% chance they will be a carrier. Doing IVF so we could test the embryos for mutations would be the only way to guarantee that our children, and their children, would never be affected.
“I was only 21 years old and not ready for kids yet, but decided to retrieve my eggs right away and freeze embryos that we could use down the line. After getting financial clearance, working with the genetic testing company, taking baseline tests and ordering medicine, I was ready to begin. You don't have much control over timing — it all depends on your body.
“I had around 19 eggs retrieved. Three days later, I got an update on how the eggs were growing and surviving. On day five, I was told around 13 eggs grew to the correct size and survived. Those were mixed with my husband’s sperm to create embryos and sent to testing. A couple of weeks later, my doctor called to tell me that seven embryos survived and were free of the genetic disease and chromosomally normal.
“Two years later, I decided I wanted to begin the journey to pregnancy. I could have waited a bit longer to get pregnant, but I wanted to start on the earlier side to give myself time in case the transfer did not work. A huge part of what made this experience nonchaotic was creating the embryos way before I planned on using them. This gave me the time I needed to learn about the process, approach it calmly, and be able to give it another shot if things didn't go as planned.
“After deciding it was time, I went to the doctor on the first day of my period for a sonogram. I kept going in so that they could track when I was ovulating. When it was time, I was given a shot of Lupron [a drug to prevent premature ovulation] and went in for the embryo transfer a day later. It was a five-minute procedure with no anesthesia. I didn't feel a thing.
“I went in every other day afterwards for blood work to see how my hormones were increasing or decreasing, which would be indicative of a successful pregnancy. Once my hormone levels reached a certain number on day nine post-transfer, the doctor confirmed I was pregnant. I delivered my beautiful baby girl in January 2023.”
“I was in a relationship with an older man and kept going back and forth about whether I wanted kids, regardless of my relationship with him. I have older cousins who were closer to 40, and they kept telling me they wished someone had told them egg freezing was an option and something they should seriously consider doing as young as possible.
“I did not have a great experience. I believe my doctors did not reduce the levels of medication they were giving me, but then it was already too late. Even though they rushed to do my retrieval, I still ended up with 36 eggs and was part of the 1% who go into hyperstimulation. [Editor’s note: Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, or OHSS, is a response to excess hormones that causes the ovaries to swell, leading to pain and discomfort. Around 5% of women go into OHSS and 1% experience severe cases.]
“Right after the egg retrieval procedure, I couldn’t eat or drink for over eight days without throwing up bile. I had to sleep sitting up on my couch. The doctors were too scared to admit me to the hospital because they thought my immune system would be too low to fight off infections. So each day, my boyfriend and two friends would take turns driving me across town to the doctor’s office where I would lie in the dark for eight hours hooked up to an IV to get some nutrients while still throwing up. All the while, I looked six-months pregnant. They ended up doing a procedure to remove some of the fluids. In the end, I lost about 15 pounds and became completely emaciated.
“If I had known what happened to me was possible, I probably wouldn’t have done it. It was incredibly painful and I was already on the fence about having kids. I definitely don’t want them now, so it was all an expensive waste for nothing.”
“When I was 34, my gynecologist mentioned egg freezing to me at my yearly exam. I had a complete meltdown in my car after the visit. I was hysterical because my little sister had just died from a prescription opioid overdose. I sat there and was like, ‘Yeah, no. It's not for me.’
“Then my dad died very suddenly and I found myself deeper in grief. Even the idea of a first date made me cringe. And during Covid, I lost more time because I wasn't comfortable dating until I was vaccinated. When I turned 39, all of a sudden I found myself saying, ‘Okay, I need to freeze my eggs now. This is the right decision for me at this point.’
“I am shocked that anyone could function at their job while doing the egg freezing process. If I had an office job, or any kind of job that requires long-term standing or physical lifting, there is absolutely no way I could've worked.
“I injected myself for 17 long days, sprawled out like a starfish during that time from extreme fatigue. I had to go longer than the usual two weeks because my follicles were growing at a slower rate and my doctor wanted to wait so they could grow to become as viable as possible. I understood the logic, but I do remember bursting into tears when I showed up to the office on what I thought was my last day, when the nurse quietly told me I had two more. ‘I literally don't have any more space on my stomach to inject that isn’t bruised right now,’ I cried. Extra days also meant extra medicine. On top of the additional cost, I had to scramble to order it from the pharmacy and ensure that it would be delivered. I got lucky that the timing was fine but it added even more stress.
“I’m still not sure whether or not I want to use a sperm donor and be a single mom by choice. I don't have any set plans right now, but I do feel a slight sense of relief knowing I have 11 frozen eggs waiting for me, even if they are all trash.”
“Being a mid-30-year-old in a bustling metropolitan city comes with so many pressures and competing standards of achievement. But for me, I measure success by my inner circle of friends and family, both chosen, and ultimately, the one I will create myself. I always knew I wanted to be a mom and have always possessed maternal instincts; however, living in New York, a career-focused city that’s been said to have over 200,000 more single women than men, I have found it incredibly hard to find a partner who shares my plans for a family and has a desire to settle down.
“Freezing my eggs was an action I could take to safeguard my future. I felt like it was the best way to protect and manage my dream of having children in a complicated dating world.
I worked in fashion for nearly 10 years and never had a benefit or insurance plan that helped to cover freezing eggs. I always knew I wanted a family, but at what cost? I read that this process costs $18,000 on average, which was too expensive for me without any financial support.
“Fast forward to a year and a half ago, when I left fashion and started a new chapter at one of the largest media companies in New York. One of the main reasons I took the job was that it had fertility benefits, a priority of mine while job searching.
“Starting this process, I had no idea what I was getting into and what to expect. I knew I was going to start marathon training later in the summer and wanted to start this process as soon as possible. My biggest takeaway from egg freezing is that everybody is truly so different. You can’t compare your body or outcome to anyone else, which can be hard when you are constantly hearing how egg freezing is a numbers game and you want to yield the most mature eggs possible.
“I remember going into a monitoring appointment and my doctor told me she thought I would be able to get around eight eggs during this round, which was hard to hear when most of my friends were getting closer to 20. I left that appointment and called my mom, crying on the street. I was upset that I couldn’t work out, which was a central part of my daily routine. I had gained weight from the shots, I had bruises on my stomach, I had a blown-out vein in my arm from the bloodwork, and I was only going to get eight eggs. I really didn’t feel like myself, and I was so frustrated at my body, considering it ‘broken.’ I was doing everything ‘right’ and somehow struggling to yield the best results.
“After two rounds, I have close to 30 eggs. But it’s important to note that not every egg will make it to an embryo state, and not every embryo will test genetically normal to be able to be used in the final stages of IVF. This process truly is a numbers game.”
“I decided that I wanted to focus on my career during my early- to mid-30s. I had spent 13 years in medical school and training and wanted to use this time for self-growth, to open up my dermatology clinics, and travel with my husband before embarking on the journey of motherhood. As physicians, most of us don’t have full control over our schedule or where we live. And often, we don’t start receiving a real salary until our 30s.
“Even as a physician with friends and colleagues who are fertility doctors, I still wasn’t sure how my body would respond to the hormones. I didn’t mind the actual hormone injections, probably because as a dermatologist, I’ve been injecting myself with Botox for years and am not needle-phobic. I would say the worst part was the trigger shot at the very end, because it causes a lot of bloating.
“Everyone responds to hormones a little differently, but skin changes were in full force for me. The hormones increase oil production, so acne is a very common side effect, and I experienced it myself. I made sure not to pick or mess with the acne to prevent scarring. Thankfully, as a dermatologist, I was able to treat a lot of the acne and it resolved on its own as my hormones rebalanced over a few weeks.
“I wish that I had frozen my eggs sooner, in my 20s. It’s the ideal time statistically and I think our bodies recover faster younger, but I didn’t have the money, and people weren’t talking about it openly as much so I wasn’t very familiar with the option. I still got plenty of eggs in my mid-30s, but it was more stressful. I was more established, though, so was able to pay for it and take off work, which I wouldn’t have been able to do 10 years ago during medical training.”
“When Covid hit and my work travel slowed to a stop, I knew it was my time to utilize my work benefit to freeze my eggs. My experience overall was really positive. After my retrieval, I felt extremely bloated but figured that and the weight I gained during the process — at that point, 40 pounds — would go down.
“When you are injecting yourself with such high levels of synthetic hormones, all of your own natural hormonal levels go up. Once the eggs are retrieved, levels should normally go down and level out. But this did not happen for me. I gained 60 pounds and developed Hashimotos, [an autoimmune disorder in which antibodies attack the cells in the thyroid]. It has been a journey itself to work with my doctors to lose the weight and correct things.
“I went on a thyroid medication and worked with a nutritionist, but it wasn't that useful. I am now on Wegovy, [an injectable prescription medicine to help with weight loss], and down 20 pounds, which is helping to bring my numbers back down to normal. The hope is that once I am about 20 pounds from my original weight, I can stop Wegovy and my numbers will be trending back down to normal.
“Even so, I 100% think this was worth it. I now have a backup plan for my future and am incredibly grateful for that.”
“I’ve always known I wanted to be a mom, but never felt I was ready for it in my 20s or even early 30s. I spent most of my early adulthood having more success in my career than my personal relationships, and it wasn’t until 35 that I met the person I wanted to share my life with and start a family with. I still wasn’t quite ready for motherhood, but knew that biologically it would only become harder to conceive and started losing sleep over the what-ifs. So I decided to freeze my eggs.
“My only regret after the process was not doing it sooner. Don’t let fears of pain, discomfort, or the unknown hold you back. I would have done it years earlier had I known how easy and fast it would be. For some reason I thought I would be giving myself injections for a whole period cycle, but that portion was only about a week. The first big surprise was the vaginal ultrasound — on the first day of your period. Honestly, I think this was the worst part of the entire process for me.
“One of the good surprises was how much I learned about my cycle and how my body works to enable fertilization. I started looking forward to the appointments with my amazing ultrasound technician, who would walk me through the images and explain what was happening with my eggs and follicles. Women’s bodies are amazing and it's crazy that we don’t learn more about this in school.
“My partner and I plan to try and conceive naturally in the next year or two, but if that doesn’t work out for us, we are so comforted knowing we have the option of creating embryos. If we don’t use my frozen eggs, I will donate them for research, which is such a personal choice and I gave a lot of thought to it. I feel free to plan the life I want, on the timeline I choose.”
“I started considering egg freezing when I was 23 — a colleague of mine was going through the process herself. She was incredibly candid about it and helped me see the value in doing it earlier rather than later.
“I grew up always wanting children, but as I entered my 20s, my priorities and lifestyle changed and I was no longer certain that kids would be in the cards for me. Around 26, I made the decision to freeze my eggs, but I struggled to find high-quality and affordable options. Living in New York made budgeting to freeze my eggs nearly impossible. I decided to move forward with freezing my eggs at age 28, when I found the Cofertility Split program. It made the process more financially accessible for me and added the massive bonus of being able to help someone with their fertility journey.
“I had heard about Cofertility through connections on LinkedIn. The Split program matches women interested in freezing their eggs with families looking for egg donors who cover the cost of the process. I paid nothing out of pocket. Once you apply and are accepted into the platform, you are entered into a database for intended parents to find good egg-donor fits. Intended parents then cover the costs of the egg freezing, and you split the eggs retrieved at the end of the cycle. I opted to do an open donation, and the intended parents that I donated to have been incredibly supportive and wonderful throughout the process.
“I was matched with my intended parents at the beginning of June, and decided to move forward with them after two weeks. I went to the clinic for an initial evaluation, including an ultrasound, blood work, and genetic testing, which took about two weeks to come back. In the meantime, I completed a psychological evaluation and legal consultation to review the donation contract. The full preparation process took about two months to complete but could have been shorter or longer depending on schedules. My fertility cycle took 12 days, and the recovery — I had some soreness, cramping, and exhaustion – took about a week.
“The family that I donated the other half of my eggs to has fertilized the eggs and begun the process of seeing what embryos will be viable for implantation. They have kept me up to date the entire time, and told me how well the eggs are doing through fertilization, biopsy, and genetic testing. It’s helpful to understand how well my frozen eggs will ‘perform’ if and when I decide to use them.”
“After my last relationship ended, I spent a lot of time alone and became intentionally introspective to find out what I wanted for myself and what makes me happy. I’ve been feeling a lot of pressure over the past couple of years to date so that I could find a partner, get married, and start a family. While I do want all of those things in my future, I don’t want to feel like I need to rush into anything, especially not because of my biological clock.
“I had considered freezing my eggs for a while, but it seemed so daunting to even start the process of finding a fertility clinic. It took me about a year to finally take the first steps. I’m so glad to feel like a bit of that societal pressure has been lifted since I now have the frozen eggs to use as a backup plan if needed.
“Overall, I had a pretty great experience. The clinic was right beside my office, which made things so much easier than anticipated, since I had to go in for blood work and ultrasounds so many times before work.
“The only downside was the difficult recovery, which I wasn’t expecting. A friend told me her recovery process was practically nonexistent and she felt completely fine the evening after her procedure. I read about bloating and tiredness and knew that was a likely possibility, but I didn’t expect to become as bloated and uncomfortable as I was after the procedure.
“I didn’t end up going to the hospital or doctor to confirm it, but believe that I developed moderate OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome). I was very visibly bloated for several days, to the point where some clothes wouldn’t fit properly. And when I would walk, I could feel the fluid around my ovaries and abdominal organs moving. The bloating itself wasn’t necessarily painful, just extremely uncomfortable, and it created a little bit of pressure against my lungs, which at times made it feel difficult to take a really deep breath.
“If it actually became difficult to breathe regularly, I would have gone to the hospital — and maybe I should have anyway — but I’m thankful it didn’t get to that point. I was told that once I got my period the week after the procedure, the bloating would subside, and that’s exactly what happened.”
“I got an IUD when I was close to 28, the age I thought I would be married with children. I realized I was nowhere near ready to get married or have children, but I also knew that I was closer to 30 than 20 and was worried about my fertility. I decided that in five years, when it was time to remove my IUD, I would talk to my gynecologist to check on my reproductive health and fertility.
“At my annual checkup, after removing my IUD, my gynecologist let me know that this was the right age to do egg freezing if I was going to. Despite her support, it felt like I was being pushed toward freezing as soon as possible because of my age, and I was overwhelmed.
“My first consultation with the fertility clinic was a lot to process. I had done a lot of the initial blood work and the doctor treated me like I was moving forward instead of as a potential patient. I got a transvaginal ultrasound. He saw excess fluid and, because of my family history of cancer, that set off alarm bells. We did a series of ultrasounds and more blood work, and I was even referred to a cancer center for further testing. No one could find what he saw.
“At this point, I was starting to see problems with the clinic. From big things, like not answering the phone and having a hard time getting responses from the doctor, to smaller microaggressions, like the clinic only having pictures of white children with blue eyes on the walls or its paperwork constantly referring to a husband, despite the diversity of its patients. This caused me to take a step back and explore other clinics.
“As a Black cisgender woman, it was important to me that I felt welcome and heard. After all of that time and stress, I was in a busy season with work and personally. I’d found a new clinic, but decided to wait four months before freezing my eggs. During those months, I wanted to optimize my chances for successful freezing as much as I could. So I took vitamins, had acupuncture appointments, stuck to a workout routine, and reduced my alcohol intake. Of course, none of that is a guarantee that your freeze will go well, but for me, it was something that I could control leading up to the process to help manage some of my anxiety.
“After taking some time to reflect when the process was over, I decided that I wanted to provide a guide for other people considering egg freezing and give it from the perspective of a Black woman since I often didn't see myself represented online during my research. I compiled all my notes and research into a low-cost resource guide that I hope to publish as an e-book to help support other people as they navigate their decision on whether or not they want to freeze their eggs.
“Egg freezing doesn't guarantee a baby but it does give me some peace of mind. This process is one of the few times in life where your body is fully in control. While there are certainly things you could do to help the process — from organization to research to lifestyle changes — ultimately, your body will call the shots. If I have not found a partner who I want to raise a child with in the next seven to 10 years, I will happily be child-free and donate my eggs to another Black person, because there are so few Black egg donors.”
“When I turned 35 and was beginning to research the fertility preservation process, I had a reality check learning that egg quantity and egg quality begins to decrease at an accelerated rate after 35. My parents, my brother, sister-in-law, and I had a family discussion about how this was something I absolutely needed to do. It was painful as a single woman that wasn’t close to having a family of her own.
“I had focused so much on being able to inject the medications and making sure I get as many mature eggs as possible that I didn’t do as much research with my clinic on the success rates for thawing eggs or how the embryo process would work in the future. I didn’t know what type of questions I should be asking.
“It wasn’t until I spoke with friends who had gone through the process at other clinics that I realized that the clinic I chose was good for freezing and storage but maybe not the best place for me to fertilize the eggs to create embryos. I knew that if I were to undergo a second egg retrieval round that I would have to fully explore the whole process and go with another clinic with much higher success rates for pregnancy.
“After my first egg freezing cycle, I had also learned through my health care provider that I would be hit with fees when I try to use the eggs in the future since I didn’t use an affiliated clinic with my health care provider, even though I paid out of pocket and [my health care] knew which clinic I was using. This was extremely disheartening and made me feel so restricted and defeated, like I don’t actually have much control over my reproductive choices.”
“I first considered egg freezing when I was 28 years old and in business school. My friend’s dad, who is an IVF doctor, said it’s best to freeze your eggs when you are younger. My gynecologist at the time also told me that if I’m not in a serious relationship by age 32, I should consider it. When age 32 came around and I wasn’t in a serious relationship, I decided to look for a new job that would cover egg freezing. I wanted to continue progressing in my career and knew that I wasn’t where I wanted to be romantically, so I decided this would be a great insurance policy to buy me time.
“It was nerve-racking going off birth control to get the baseline testing. I had been on it for 14 years. Once I got the results of the baseline testing, I was so glad I was starting the process because my doctor told me my ovarian reserve count was low for my age. After the baseline testing, I went back on birth control so they could time everything on their end. This was really hard on me because I wasn’t used to experiencing a normal period without birth control and then going back on birth control. My body wasn’t used to the cramps and the drastic hormonal differences.
“When I started the injections, one of the hardest things for me was not working out, because it’s such a great way for me to relieve my stress. I was told I could go on walks and did. One of the first walks I took, it felt like I could feel my ovaries because they were getting larger. Surprisingly, I was very calm going into the retrieval because I think I knew this was going to relieve so much stress and pressure in terms of the female timeline. I was extremely bloated for a few days and my breasts were pretty tender for about a month after.
“My company covered up to $14,000. I had to pay for everything up front and then I got reimbursed. Ultimately, [it] ended up [being] $18,000 total, so I still had to pay $4,000 out of pocket. I would like to get pregnant without using my frozen eggs, but I also know that I’m not getting any younger. I love the safety net of having them and that I have bought myself time.”
“I went through a breakup, and I was like, ‘Oh, my God, I'm 35 and single. I'm probably not going to meet anyone in the immediate future.’ The minute I knew that this relationship was really over, I was like, ‘Okay, what can I do to future-proof myself a little bit?’
“The problem is, most women are not making enough money in their 20s to be able to afford this. For me, it wasn't something I could even entertain until I was in my mid-30s and actually had that money that I could spend. I was not in a financial situation to do it any younger, but from a biological standpoint, you should be doing it younger.
“During the pandemic, people had time to sit and think, and they started working from home, so they were able to go to the appointments every other morning to get blood drawn and all that. I had been seeing people post about it on social media, and one influencer I had been following for years and sort of trusted said Kindbody, [a nationwide chain of fertility clinics], was a welcoming experience.
“Something I don't like that influencers do is a lot of the women have their partners doing the shots for them. I find it to be just so cringe, and maybe that's me being a little bit jealous. They have a partner who would do that for them, but something about it really rubs me the wrong way. You're an adult. You can do this yourself.
“My results weren't amazing. They retrieved only four eggs. I remember the doctor initially telling me that you want to have at least 10 eggs to have one child. So I was like, ‘Oh, fuck, I don't even have half a child.’ You also know it only takes one. But I was feeling kind of discouraged. The doctor did encourage me to do it again. The second time around, I had that first experience to compare it to, and everything was more stressful.
“I was in more pain and remember feeling really hormonal and sad that my body just went through this thing and I had nothing to show for it. There's no baby, no nothing. Your body thinks that you're pregnant, but you're not. This time around, they retrieved four eggs, but only three were viable.
“It's just something that you have so little control over. Now I'm like, ‘I'm down $25,000 and I may never use these eggs.’”
“I first learned about egg freezing and its ability to preserve fertility when I was in college. I begged my parents to sponsor the treatment as a graduation present, and they laughed in my face. As an ardent feminist and career-focused woman, I've always admired the reproductive freedom and control that egg freezing allows. I assumed it would be a part of my fertility journey at some point, but it wasn't until last year that I began considering it more seriously.
“My health insurance changed at the beginning of 2023, and I was thrilled to see that I now had fertility coverage, including elective egg freezing. I would never have been able to freeze my eggs at this point in my life if I were paying out of pocket, and knew I had to take advantage of this coverage. I scheduled my egg freezing treatment immediately.
“I expected the experience to be an emotional roller coaster, with the surge of hormones running through my body and physical changes as my ovaries grew to 10 times their normal size, but I had no idea how quickly it would happen. Within a day of starting my injections, I felt overcome with physical discomfort and bloating — and it only got worse from there.
“Much of my decision to freeze my eggs was fueled by the control it would give me over my fertility, but ironically, I have never felt less in control of my body than during my two weeks of injections. I had no idea what was happening inside my body or how it would respond to the many changes I was putting it through. My emotions and reactions were completely out of my hands. Everything felt like it was happening to me without my having any agency. The usual solutions that I'd turn to during times of stress and anxiety, like exercise, weren't available to me. As a total control freak, I've never felt so out of sorts. And I think it felt even worse because I wasn't expecting to feel that way.
“The whole process took me just over two weeks, but my recovery took a bit longer than expected. The worst and most persistent part of my recovery was continued hormonal breakouts, which lasted about two months. My skin has never been worse, particularly in the first two weeks following my egg retrieval. Every time one blemish would go away, three more would appear, no matter what I did or which products I used. While I'd had bouts of hormonal acne before, this was unlike anything I'd ever experienced and was completely debilitating. I didn't even want to leave my house some days because I was so embarrassed by the spots and bumps that marked every inch of my face.
“Even so, the relief, the freedom, and the control that freezing your eggs permits is worth all the pain, discomfort, and annoying side effects imaginable.”
“I wanted to freeze my eggs as soon as I started hearing about it in my 20s, which would've been around 2010. But at that point, it wasn't normalized. It was more, ‘Oh, have you heard this is something that women can do?’ When I brought it up to my ob-gyn — I was probably 25 at the time — she just waved me off and said, ‘You don’t need to do that.’
“When I was 30, I went through a big breakup from the person I thought I would have kids with and started panicking that my window was closing. So I began looking into the cost of egg freezing. By then it would've been 2015, and it was prohibitively expensive for me. In 2019, I got a new job and egg freezing coverage was a company benefit. I knew for sure I was going to take advantage of it. I had to pay an out-of-pocket maximum — which was $3,000 for an individual — but that was it for the year. I would be able to do as many cycles as the benefit allowed within a calendar year for $3,000. I did a cycle in September 2020, at age 35, and then another cycle that December.
“I really didn't know what I was getting into. I didn't quite realize how emotional it was going to be to start injecting myself. Not because of being scared of needles, but it was like, ‘Wow, I'm really doing this big thing for myself.’ The spike in estrogen actually made me feel really euphoric. The rest of the hormonal stuff made me feel bloated, but not sad. For me, it was a milestone. I was really determined. I was also just so awestruck that this was a benefit at the company where I worked. I was like, ‘Let's do this before they take it back!’ It felt too good to be true.
“What I wasn't prepared for was how weird it would feel to go into the operating room for the retrieval procedure. Of course it would be an OR, but I was picturing a regular gynecologist's office. And it was really tough for me not to be able to exercise during this time. Exercise is my best mental health tool. Not being able to get in cathartic workouts for almost a month made me feel a little frustrated, and I felt foggy for about 10 days after the retrieval.
“During the process, I was in a new relationship, but it hadn’t even been a year. To me, there was a greater risk in freezing embryos with someone that I wasn't married to than there was in freezing eggs. My partner was totally understanding of that, and it took pressure off of him too.
“When I was 37 and my now husband was 40, we started trying to get pregnant naturally. I assumed we would have a hard time — the odds were not in our favor. But we got pregnant immediately. Our son was born last summer, and I am so excited about being a mom.
“Recently I got a bill for the storage charges on my frozen eggs. I was looking at it going, ‘Oh shit, what do we do now? Do we really want to spend $2,000 a year on freezing these eggs? And for how long?’ But my partner and I talked about it and until we know for sure that we don't want to have any more kids — to be honest, that could be when I'm 45 — it's worth it to keep them in storage. To me, it's worth every opportunity to do it again…. if we decide we want to do it again and it doesn’t work out naturally.
“I really can't underestimate how valuable the egg freezing process has been for me and how much it would've made a difference in my life if at 25, if I had been able to do it. I would've made such different decisions in my dating life in my 20s if I had been able to do this. I would have not been so panicked in my early 30s about finding the right person and feeling so overwhelmingly doomsday about my potential for a family in the future. It would've freed up so much mental energy and time. I wish that this was a regular conversation for people with ovaries to have with their doctor at 25.”
“I don't know if I want to be a mom. It's not, like, a flat-out no. It's… I don't know. If something has an expiration date on it, and there is a way to create a pause or give yourself more time, why not just take it as an insurance policy? I look at egg freezing that way.
“I'm not envisioning having a baby later. It's really just, like, maybe in 10 years it happens…. or maybe it doesn't. I come from a family where both of my parents have been divorced many times over. The thing my mom always tells me is people change so dramatically. You can start over many times.
“I started looking into egg freezing years ago. My good friend, who is Canadian, suggested I look into the pricing in Canada, but it's priced at a relatively high amount. And it's obscenely expensive in the United States. So I decided to look into going to Mexico. I didn’t want to spend more than 10 grand.
“First I thought, Oh, I'll do it in Cancun and have a mini holiday. But I looked at where the top clinics are and ended up going to Mexico City. Our version of [New York’s] Upper East Side is Polanco in Mexico City, and there are fertility clinics that cater to Americans. I saw a lot of Americans there.
“I would advise anyone doing this to be close to their clinic. I got a super nice Airbnb that was a six-minute walk. Because I saved a lot of money doing the process in Mexico, I wanted to get really nice accommodations and not nickel-and-dime anything else. I wanted to feel really comfortable. The first week of injections, I was walking around Mexico City. By the second week I was so uncomfortable, I just wanted to sit and not be talked to. If I had to commute on a train, I would’ve wanted to die. You're so uncomfortable and sore, the last thing you want to do is be crammed on a train.
“I bruise easily, so I had massive bruises all over my arms from all the blood they were taking out and on my belly from the injections. You're empowered by the decision, but your body does not feel good. You're doing some intense stuff to it. I felt really full — as if I ate a full meal and was nauseous from eating so much — but I wasn't actually hungry and hadn't eaten at all.
“Post-retrieval was the hardest part for me. You don't get to work out for about two weeks. If you use yoga or running as a mental health tool to get you through the day, like me, and you can't do that for weeks on end, it gets really hard.
“My clinic told me I couldn’t travel for 24 hours after the retrieval, just in case there's any inflammation or bleeding or something happens. So, after being in Mexico for 16 days — I spent a few days getting my margarita on before I got serious and started the injections — I was so ready to go back home to New York.
“I retrieved 15 eggs; seven of them were solid to freeze and I was good with that number. My doctor talked about every stage as a separate process, and she didn't use the word ‘baby’ until the absolute end, when I got the results. We saw this as one procedure that is taking eggs and putting them in cryo. That's it. It's not a baby, it's not tied to motherhood. It is just a procedure like any other procedure — and that's it. It could lead somewhere, but for me it's better to keep it as this insurance policy and be detached from it.”
“I tried donating my eggs in college because I really needed the money. On average, a donor gets $10,000, but because of my height, SAT score, and the university I attended, I was going to get like $15,000. When they found out I have ADHD and mental illness in my family, though,I was denied.
“In my late 20s, I figured by freezing my eggs six years younger than the average age of 35, it would give me a better chance. I chose to freeze my eggs at Kindbody, a med-spa model for egg freezing and is around half the cost. I paid $10,220 out of pocket.
“Throughout the 11 days, I felt unwell in the mornings and for a few hours after my injections at night. I started with 31 follicles and got 20 eggs. I know it sounds like a lot, but statistically, I might only have two kids from this batch. If I conceive naturally and my first baby is a boy, I will definitely be using my eggs to implant a female embryo for my second child. I desperately want a daughter.”
“My now ex-husband and I had talked about having kids, but then life happened. I ended up starting a company, his job took off, and time got away from us. When I was 37, a bunch of my friends, who are all doctors, brought egg freezing to my attention. Because I had a partner, we decided to freeze embryos since it improves your chances of a successful pregnancy.
“I had been told all kinds of horror stories about how you feel during the egg retrieval process. I have a pretty good tolerance for pain, but my biggest concern was that I didn't want to turn into a raving maniac during the process. And I didn’t. The first week was totally fine. My sleep was a little disrupted, but I didn't really notice anything. The second week of injections was when things started to change. My whole body felt very tender. Even finding a place to do the injections became hard because everywhere hurt.
“I was fortunate that the egg retrieval procedure went very smoothly. When I woke up, the doctor wrote how many eggs I got on a little piece of paper. I remember being like, ‘Is this good?’ And they said it was very good, especially for my age. I think I got 14 eggs.
“Then it was interesting to see firsthand how that process went and realize how hard it is to get pregnant. Out of the 14 eggs retrieved, only 11 of them matured enough to be fertilized with sperm. Of those 11, only six grew into embryos. Then we did genetic testing on those six and only three of them were genetically healthy.
“In retrospect, I wish I had frozen embryos and eggs. It is not a knock on your partner or the state of your relationship. It's just taking care of yourself, and part of taking care of yourself is being prepared for any possible outcome. I never would've guessed in 2017 that in 2023 I'd be divorced. So it would've been nice to have had eggs, just to have kept all of my options completely open.
“When my husband and I made the decision to get divorced, to be honest, I didn't even think about our embryos. Besides the grief that you're going through, processing the death of your marriage, a lot of other more immediate things popped up, like where you're going to live. The embryos came up when we were in the process of negotiating. My almost ex-husband brought them up in mediation and very clearly stated his intent to have the embryos donated to science. We had already discussed this and decided when we signed our initial paperwork. For the donation, we worked with Embryo Options, which makes it super easy to do.
“When I got divorced, I was still set on not having kids. But, again, I always feel like you never know where life's going to take you. I met with a physician when I was 41, going on 42. She walked me through what the egg freezing process would look like at that age. The lift was going to be so much heavier to get a handful of eggs that I was like, ‘I don't want to put my body through that.’
“I never felt like I threw money away. It was an investment in myself, to give myself all the options. It's like contributing to your 401K. As you get older, you want to have money for retirement. I think, whether you're 22 or 30, you want to have all your options available to you when it comes to reproduction.”
